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I think I am starting to see outward signs of the cancer that I know is in Toto’s body.  Lately, Toto seems to be more tired, and he sleeps very soundly.  Sometimes when he is sleeping it sounds like he is breathing heavier (but that could be in my head).  His appetite is also starting to decrease.  Of course I worry about him.  I am a mom.  It’s my job.

But for whatever negatives I see, I also see a dog who is not ready to leave us.  As soon as I start to worry that he is not eating, he goes back to his bowl and finishes his dinner.  Then he runs over and brings me a toy.  It is as if he is trying to show me, “See?  I am fine.  Really!”  And when he seems lethargic and I begin to worry he is slowing down, then he will jump off the couch and go play with the other dogs.  He is still his feisty self.  He plays just as rough as ever.

So while I know that Toto is physically sick, I also know that mentally he is stronger than ever.  He is not going to leave us without a good fight.

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10 Responses to “Signs”

  1.   jakesmom Says:

    Toto just needs his rest sometimes, so he can keep fighing the cancer beast!!!

    Sending you and Toto a big loving hug!!!

    Angel Jake’s Mom

  2.   anyemery Says:

    Fight, Toto, fight! It sounds like he’s still got lots of fight left in him, and we’ll cheer him on! We’re here for you, Toto! And we’re glad you’re still your feisty self!

    Isn’t it amazing how they pick up on our feelings? When I get down about this disease, invariably Holly finds me and wags her tail and gives me some kisses. Or grabs a toy and wants to play. She gives me the same messages Toto is giving you – and I love that! Enjoy today!

    lots of hugs,
    Holly and Holly’s mom

  3.   Mackenzie's Mom Says:

    Hi Toto’s Mom,
    I worry about the same things too. So you’re not alone. I wonder if it’s in my head or am I worrying about something that I shouldn’t be? I guess with all that we’ve been through, every little “sign” becomes magnified and we’re that much more sensitive to it. It sounds like Toto is still going strong and has that same strong spirit so enjoy. We’ll keep our paws crossed for you that he’s doing just fine!

  4.   Tazzie Says:

    C’mon little Toto – We want to see you and your mum around this site for a long time to come.

  5.   Carmen (Catie's Mom) Says:

    Oh, Toto is too sweet! What enormous generous spirits dogs have.

    Best wishes!

  6.   Susan Dorward Says:

    Stay strong, my English Staffy lost her leg 14 months ago with that horrible bone cancer. We were told she has a growth in her lungs last October. I am super sensitive to her movements and breathing. She has a wonderful zest of life and I know she will let me know when she has had enough. But she tells me not to baby her! In these difficult times she has taught us to live in the moment. She lives strong everyday.

  7.   gineej Says:

    I toto-ally understand what you are saying. With Paris she did great for so long and than you begin to see small changes that remind you of that damn cancer!
    These changes don’t always mean the worst, so try not to worry and definitely don’t treat Toto any different……and most of all remember every moment counts. Fill his life with lots of love and treats and special moments.
    Thinking of you and “Toto too”

    Ginny & Angel Paris

  8.   janeothejungle Says:

    Keep on trucking Toto!! We are sending you lots of love and strength!

    Luvs, Rosie

  9.   Tehya's Mom Says:

    Oh my gosh Toto sounds exactly like Tehya. Yesterday we were so concerned about her as she had a really restless night the day before. All of a sudden she’s in her toy box pulling everything out and wanting to play! They truly are amazing. Sending you a big hug!


  10.   jack crowder Says:

    Moms are supposed to worry, that’s what they do. They do it because they love us, we are so lucky to have “mom love.” Dad, oop’s, the chauffeur, says mom love is the best love.
    Toto, you enjoy each day because you are a very special dog, you’re a tripawd! I’m so very lucky to have met some amazing and special tripawds, just like you!

    Take care, your friend, Shelby, the P.P.

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