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Ups and Downs

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The good news is that we have officially closed on our old house!  The bad news is that we have NOT officially closed on our new house.  Our plan for being “homeless” was that we were going to go to Wisconsin for a weekend and then stay with my parents for no more than a week.  Well, it has been more than two weeks.  I guess things have been crazy because everyone is buying at the same time because of the tax credit…  Anyway, the plan is we are supposed to close now on Monday!  I hope it all works out.

So, as I said, we went up to Wisconsin for a weekend.  The weather was beautiful, it was relaxing.  Toto was running around outside and everything was so beautiful.  It would have been a perfect picture, except of course I forgot my camera.  I was thinking what if this is the last time Toto gets up to the cottage?  I at least want a picture!  My husband said we will just have to take pictures the next time we go.  Toto was definitely slower than the last time we were in Wisconsin.  His hop has gotten heavier.  But, he was still going.  We still made it for a good walk and he was still having a great time.

We moved in with my parents on Sunday night.  Monday morning my mom went to let the dogs out and everyone went…  except for Toto.  When I looked for Toto I found him sitting in a corner.  He did not look well.  I carried him outside and back in.  He wasn’t eating.  He wasn’t moving much.  I didn’t know what the next move was.  All you can think is that this is the end.  No more barking.  No more playing.  No more hopping around.  This is it.

Well, Monday things were better.  Tuesday, things were way better.  We have had a lot of ups and downs in the past weeks.  I have to remember that our lives have been so hectic lately.  It could be stress playing a part.  It could be that Toto was just feeling under the weather.  It could be that Toto was worn out from a busy weekend.  Whatever it was, he has been doing a lot better.  Like I said, it is up and down, but good.

I have had a lot going on lately.  A lot of stress.  Everyone always says that God won’t give you more than you can handle.  Well, I kept telling God, I can’t handle losing Toto.  Not right now.  I just couldn’t handle it.  I guess he listened to me.  Thank you, God!

I have noticed swelling in Toto’s abdomen.  My fear is that the hemangiosarcoma has spread to his spleen (as is very common).  Sometimes I also wonder if it has spread to his other shoulder and leg.  But all I can do is focus on what I can do.  I try to keep Toto eating.  Some days he has no interest in food.  Maybe he has just figured it out…  if he passes on dry dog food, he will get something way better.  He is a smart dog. 🙂  I got him a bunch of the Beneful Dog Food, Prepared Meals.  He loves those!  I also try to focus on making sure Toto is happy.  He is happy.  After the scare last Monday, he is barking again, playing, hopping around.  He jumps up in the picture window in my parent’s house so that he can bark at strangers passing by.  He will jump on Stella when she is sleeping when he wants to play.  Every morning when I get up, he is waiting for me.  How can you not love a dog like that?

The ups and downs are hard.  One minute I think this is the end.  The next minute I think he still has a few years left in him.    But I would take every “down” there is… if I knew there was an “up” just around the corner…


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7 Responses to “Ups and Downs”

  1.   etgayle Says:

    sometimes life can be so scary…i’m thinking it’s just the stress of so many changes…and the ability to get the really good wet food… paws crossed for many many good days ahead!!

    gayle

  2.   Carmen (Catie's Mom) Says:

    Impossible not to love a dog like that. Life is so full of ups and downs it really does get overwhelming. Just keep enjoying and holding onto the ups. They’re what make everything worthwhile.

  3.   krun15 Says:

    I’m right there with you on the ups and downs. For now it sounds like more ups- so hang on to that.
    I sometimes think Maggie is ‘playing’ me when she won’t eat what I give her- she is the same- maybe she knows too that if she holds out something better will come along… (she is right too!!)

    Karen and the pug girls

  4.   jerry Says:

    It is amazing how closely life can parallel the ups and downs of cancer, isn’t it? But as you can see through Toto’s strength, all we can do is live in the moment, because worrying about yesterday or today just isn’t very much fun. So why not make the best of what we have, right here, right now? Right?

    We hope Toto’s health keeps on the steady track and that he continues feeling good. And the same for you too. Hang in there. We know you can do it.

  5.   jack crowder Says:

    I hope you have only up days and enjoy every minute of those days.
    What a strong little man he is, all the moving and all that goes with it is hard on everybody.

    Enjoy each day, hug him an extra 20 or 50 times and take a ton of pictures!

    Shelby, the P.P.

  6.   Mackenzie's Mom Says:

    We hope that you see a lot of ups coming your way with Toto. Maybe once things settle down for you and your move, he’ll settle down and feel better too. It sounds like he is very happy and you do have a lot more ups than downs – so that’s always a great thing! Keeping our paws crossed for you and Toto and that he continues to feel good :).

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